I am You and You are Me
by WhiteWolfCub
Summary: A freakish potions accident will change Sirius and Remus forever. Literally! Their bodies have been switched, will the new changes break them? Or bring them together at last? [SLASH SR]
1. Meeting the Boys

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Humor/Romance  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, some angst in about two chapters, and swearing.  
**Summary: **A freakish potions accident has caused Remus and Sirius to switch bodies, but their minds still intact. What can they learn by being the other? Will they finally fall in love?  
**Disclaimer: **This is the only one so get it here. I do not own any of the characters, though if I did Harry would snog Draco and Remus and Sirius would be already hitting home. Sadly, that is not the case, so all I can bring you is my craziness.

**Notes: **This one has been bugging me for a long time. Though I do have chapter nineteen to 'Which One is Mommy' I really want to write this. I am really passed all of my angst but I am just so good at it. Humor is not my favorite topic but I thought I would lighten up on all of you this time…but believe me, only this time. Okay, enough of this. In the story coming up Sirius is against Homosexuality but is best friends with Remus, whom is gay (and he knows it). He is a ladies man, but is dedicated to his friends completely. Remus is shy, even around his friends, soft spoken, and tries to keep his homosexual qualities not to show (though everybody knows he is). Smart and occasionally gives the heart warming laugh. James is just…James. Remus is actually chased a lot by the Slytherins and when they switch bodies something happens. Side note: Sirius is on the Quidditch team; Beater. Remus hates flying more than anything.

---Chapter One: Meet the Boys---

The sun hit the dorms seemingly extremely fast to the slumbering boys. Three of the four boys still slept soundly, though the fourth opened tired amber eyes, blinking at the sudden invading light. Sitting up lightly he stretched, his short pajama top revealing a pale and scarred torso. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed he stretched once more before getting up, stumbling over to his trunk where his toothbrush and comb were. Yawning once more he walked into the bathroom, peering into the mirror angrily.

"Oh Remus Lupin, you look so pathetic," he sighed to himself. His amber eyes shown brightly back at him, years of experience behind his young eyes. His scarcely thin body was covered in scars, a large one on his side which was the origin of the rest. Remus, if not for being a werewolf, was a rather willowy thin boy, his long bangs consistently falling into his eyes, and his small limbs moving perfectly with the rest of him.

Remus was an odd boy, highly intelligent; top of his class in fact, though never likes to speak in front of crowd. Aside from being hunted by all of the Slytherin boys, he had always loved Sirius Black. He sighed, peeking his head back into the dorms, watching his love interest carefully, seeing the gentle rise and fall of his (nicely muscled) chest. Remus blushed, immediately going back to his teeth and allowing his thoughts to stop. He was great at mental barriers.

"_**I want him damn it!"**_

Apparently not good enough to keep annoying Moony out of his head. Sighing mentally he kicked the wolf and went back to business.

"_**I'm bored! Pay attention to me!"**_

Maybe getting the business over and done with was too much to ask.

"**Leave me alone Moony"**

Walking out of the bathroom he quickly got dressed, grabbing a book from his trunk and going to wait until his room mates woke up.

-----------------

A loud beeping was finally heard throughout the dorms, a lazy hand going to hit the magically powered alarm clock. Sirius Black sat up in bed, looking around to make sure he was in the right place. His eyes closed tightly as he yawned widely, stretching his arms high above his head. Unlike Peter and Remus, whom always put a shirt on before they went to bed, James and Sirius preferred to go bare-chested, showing off who had the stronger muscles. A silent but very powerful battle had been unfolding between them since first year.

Sirius kicked his legs up, stretching his back and hearing the slight pop. Much better. Crawling forward, Sirius pulled his curtains open to reveal the dorm room, watching as James pulled his curtains back along with him.

"Hey Black."

"Hey Potter."

That was all said quickly before Sirius reached down, opening his trunk from behind and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, smiling that he hadn't crushed either one…yet. Walking into the bathroom he grinned at his reflection. _Hello beautiful, how are you this morning? _He thought to himself. Looking at himself he grinned once more, feeling his ego boosting even higher.

His gray-blue eyes were looking at him in deep appreciation, his nice chest looking healthy and peachy. Unlike Remus, his body looked highly healthy, the five years of Quidditch training getting him perfectly into shape and making him even more delectable to all of the women in Hogwarts. Only a few scars from childhood accidents were the only thing that marred his perfect skin, which added to the beauty of Sirius Black. He was tall, not skinny tall, but tall.

He looked over as James walked through the door, a wide grin on his face. Looking at Sirius he smiled even wider.

"Sirius I think Remus likes you," he said smoothly. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Remus knows that I only like women," Sirius said sharply. "I accept Remus, but the whole gay thing is disgusting and unnatural."

"You aren't truly accepting him though," James replied with concern.

"Its fake, he'll find out who he truly is and that he needs to be with girls, not men," Sirius said stiffly, shaking his head at the thought of homosexuality.

"Don't you think it's bad enough that he's a werewolf, but also gay?" James asked. Sirius grinned at him.

"That is why I am going to protect him James, I always have," Sirius said happily. James smiled wryly, going back brushing his teeth. After silence, and the brief interruption from Peter, the two made their way downstairs to see Remus napping on the squishy armchair, his legs hanging over the armrest and a book laid across his chest.

"Why does he always get up at the crack of dawn? He's wearing himself thin," James sighed, going to the armrest and gently shaking the young boy awake. "Come on Remmie, get up."

"Mm, what, is it time for Potions?" Remus mumbled, getting up from his seat groggily. His head was spinning, from lack of sleep or food he didn't know. Sirius frowned in concern, watching the small tilt in his friends form. "No, breakfast would be it, breakfast and then Potions." James and Sirius shared a look but they eventually picked up their bags and followed their smaller friend.

-------------------

"So we will be doing a body altering potion that can change the appearance of an individual for days, months, or even years –depending on the quality of the potion," Slughorn said, clapping Sirius on the shoulder as he passed, and passing a confident fist pump at Remus. "Now be careful, if this potion goes wrong, some bad things could happen."

Sirius glanced at Remus, his work buddy. The boy was nearly falling asleep! Getting the supplies, he noticed that Remus was now fully awake, looking at the directions in his book carefully.

"Add the goat belly juice first Sirius, to change the body fat," Remus said. "One cup full, and then add the mermaid scales, for the skin change." Sirius nodded, looking at the vials carefully. Shrugging he added both of them, watching in slight fascination as the concoction bubbled at an alarming rate. Remus was not paying attention to the potion as he began to stir it, adding in the rest of the things as he wet along, going with the occasional stir.

A couple pops were heard and finally Sirius' attention became fixed on the potion. It was…glowing? "Uh, Remus, I think –something, is –well something is wrong," Sirius said.

"Not now Sirius," Remus growled, going back to reading the chapter. Sirius shrugged it off too, going back to his reading. "We have to let it simmer for ten minutes." A gentle nod and they continued.

The glowing was exceeding the cauldron now, its gentle yet powerful light crawling up to the two boys. Remus looked up, his eyes widening in panic as he looked around and noticed that no one else's did that. A loud bang erupted from their cauldron, Remus and Sirius automatically blown away from the force.

The classroom broke into screams as Remus crashed into Lily and Sirius into James, both knocked unconscious.

"What happened?" Slughorn yelled fiercely.

"It was Black and Lupin! Their potion backfired!" A student yelled. The kids were still in a panic, confused and very lost. Lily and James looked at one another, very worried for the boys in their arms.

"Take Black and Lupin to the hospital wing."

---------------

The first thing Sirius noticed when he woke up was that he felt shorter and very light. Looking around his vision was amazingly clear and crisp, able to pick up every slight detail. His nose itched with a lot of smells that came at him clearer than before. Sitting up he noticed a large scar down his arm that he had not known before, in fact, his arm seemed to be shorter and much thinner.

"What is going on?" He whispered to himself. Remus had to be near by; he was closer to the cauldron than he was. His eyes ran over the Hospital Wing, looking at every bed until his eyes fell on the figure next to him. He froze completely, mouth open in a wide gape. It was…him!

Sirius passed out again.

---**TBC**---

**Well, that was chapter one, next goal: work on Chapter Nineteen of Which One is Mommy.**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

---**TBC**---


	2. We Can't Tell James

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Humor/Romance  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, some angst in about two chapters, and swearing.  
**Summary: **A freakish potions accident has caused Remus and Sirius to switch bodies, but their minds still intact. What can they learn by being the other? Will they finally fall in love?

**Notes: **I…didn't think this would be as good as people were saying. But, I have been reading it for the passed couple days and I find it rather funny. So, I am going to be continuing this now and as you know I have taken off about fifty percent of my stories. Once upon a time in the little home of WhiteWolfCub, she begins to try and complete the rest of her stories. Well, I suppose I have another on my load…

---Chapter Two: We Can't Tell James---

_WHA-! WHAT IS GOING ON!_

Remus was in a right state, looking around so often that his head should have popped off by now. Grabbing his head he rubbed his fists through his hair so many times the strands started to tangle within themselves.

"Remus, if you are going to be me you don't mess up the hair!" Sirius snapped, closing a hand over his mouth at how squeaky it sounded. "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY SEXY VOICE IS RUINED!" Remus growled, jumping on Sirius immediately, choking the boy under him.

"Sirius Orion Black I want my body back!" He yelled, shaking the smaller one harshly. Sirius hissed in protest, trying to find some way to activate that uber werewolf strength Remus used at times.

"Werewolf powers activate!" Sirius yelled, making a weird look. Remus stopped what he was doing, looking at him strangely. "How do you get these powers of your to work?" Remus sighed, stepping off of his own body and brushing himself off. Shaking his head he was going to go back to the dorms when the Hospital Wing doors opened and James stepped through, grinning at the sight of his friends.

"Sirius, how are you?" He asked. Remus figured he was speaking to him, and Sirius naturally replied.

"Fine," both of them said. James raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, how are you as well Remus?" He asked. Remus blushed.

"Fine," both of them said once again. Sirius growled.

"Shut up Remus!" He growled.

"You shut up Sirius!" Remus hissed.

"Um, I think you two are…confused," James replied slowly, unsure if they were serious or if this was game. "Which one is Sirius and which one is Remus?" Both of them paused for a second, looking at each other briefly.

"I'm Sirius of course James," Remus said politely. Sirius slapped his forehead from behind the other one. "Erm- I mean, yo James, it is I –your, erm- lord and master." An over dramatic sigh escaped from Sirius.

"Yes," he said in a high pitched voice. "I am Remus, the wimp that always prefers to make fun of Sirius instead of James."

"Watch it Black! I pick on you because you're so stupid!" Remus snapped. James sat down, rubbing his head.

"That potion must have done something to the both of you," he muttered to himself. Remus rubbed his ears, unused to the short distance hearing he was getting. Sirius on the other hand, marveled at the fact he could everything.

"Oh yeah, how did that go buddy?" Sirius asked. James looked at him with a glance. Shutting his eyes he leaned back, propping himself up on his hands. Opening his eyes once again he laughed, making the other two look at each other in confusion.

"A really funny joke you two, but I just talked to Madam Pomfrey and she said that you could go, but if you feel any different come strait here," James said in a rather bored voice. Remus and Sirius shared one more look before Sirius pulled Remus away breaking into a run once he reached the hallway.

"Hey! Sirius, where are you going?" Remus gasped, nearly tripping as Sirius continued to lead him down the hallway, more like force him down the hallway but that wasn't the point. Sirius whipped around, allowing Remus to smack right into him. Grabbing his hand (man that sounded weird) he shoved Remus into the empty classroom, closing the door and locking it behind him.

"We can not tell James what's happened," Sirius said harshly, still facing the door. "We'll be the laughing stock of the school! I refuse to loose my reputation over something so stupid!" Remus sighed, getting over the initial shock of being dragged around and sitting on one of the desks.

"I think we should at least tell-" Remus started but was cut off when Sirius' hand –erm, his hand- covered his mouth.

"We can't tell anyone!" Sirius hissed. After a long silence he pulled back, blazing amber eyes glaring into grey. Remus bit his lip, nodding at last. Sirius grinned, but his face didn't show it, which was another problem Remus had. An awkward silence followed, none of them knowing what to say to one another.

"Are you always this tall?" Remus asked suddenly, jumping once to get a better feel. He was too busy strangling Sirius earlier to notice. Sirius grinned.

"Jealous shrimp?" He mocked. Remus flushed in anger, stepping forward and taking Sirius by the collar of the shirt (marveling at the fact he was able to at last) and shook him harshly.

"SAY THAT AGAIN BLACK I DARE YOU!" Remus yelled, shaking him even more. Sirius stuck his tongue out, though secretly enjoying the fact that his body was so strong. Remus frowned, not liking the grin on the others face.

"Hey," Sirius said suddenly. "Are you really gay for me?" Remus paled, dropping him on the floor and turning around, trying to hide yet another blush.

"No, but it might seem that way because of all the Slytherins that have a strange obsession with me," Remus muttered, shutting his eyes as if trying to block out the conversation. Sirius looked immediately surprised, standing up and going around to be in front of Remus, an expression of worry.

"They've been harassing you? Why haven't you told anyone?" Sirius asked harshly, amber eyes piercing. Remus looked away.

"I never wanted anyone to worry about me, but since you are in my body…you ARE going to be bothered by those guys," Remus pointed out, Sirius nodding. "But, the thing I usually do to avoid them is ignoring, so as not to suspect just ignore them instead of beating the crap out of them, like you usually do." Sirius nodded again.

"And when people bother you I always have dung bombs and stink pellets in my pockets," Sirius said brightly, allowing a radiant smile to come onto his face. "Don't be alarmed if all the girls swarm you, just smile and laugh and say 'how are you lovely ladies doing?' and they giggle and say you're so cute and then just give them each a kiss and walk away gloriously."

"Erm g-gloriously?" Remus inquired. "I can't really do that, but I'll try." Sirius frowned.

"That reminds me, what do you usually do when girls –or erm, g-guys- get on you?" Sirius asked, shuttering at the 'guys' part. Remus blushed once again, looking away completely.

"I get embarrassed and usually walk away," he muttered quietly. Sirius crossed his arms, taking all the mental notes he could while nodding.

"Okay then! Are we ready to take our places in the outside world?" Sirius asked curiously. Remus nodded, releasing a great sigh, but he eventually laughed, giving a truly Sirius-like grin.

"Yeah, maybe I could actually learn to be brave," he joked. Sirius blinked at least once or twice before nodding energetically, clapping Remus on the back.

"Yeah, you could!" He said, and Remus shook his head. "You are way too timid buddy." Remus stopped Sirius as he was walking out and made him turn.

"You must not be happy all the time and…after classes, everyday we will go to the library and find a cure," Remus pointed out. "Besides, back to what I said earlier, I'm not constantly happy, so keep on the down low to make sure no one suspects."

"Our potions accident will be the hot topic all over school, no doubt there will be questions," Sirius hissed, rather angry.

"But there will be no answers for them Sirius, no matter what," Remus replied sharply, walking to the door and unlocking it, opening the heavy wood with no effort at all. It felt…strange to be so strong yet so weak, not at all like his body, where it was a constant power trip that consistently ignored.

"We don't want them to worry," Sirius said suddenly, sounding so much like he was Remus it scared Remus!

"That…is the attitude you need," came the reply before both of them walked out.

-------------

_It was all a dream, it was all a dream. His body was still knocked out beside him, and he had no idea whose body HE was in! It was a horrible, drug induced nightmare from that potion that had back fired. Sirius sighed, trying to calm himself down. He remembered looking over and seeing his body, passing out, and waking up again just to freak out. _

_A groan from the bed beside him made his (but not exactly) head to swivel around, watching as the imposter sat up, rubbing a bump on his perfect head._

"_Where am I?" He murmured. Looking around the grey eyes landed on himself, his body freezing immediately. Sirius continued to watch him, unsure what the imposter was going to do next. Kill him? Maim him? Torture him until he talked? No, that couldn't be it; he was too lazy to know what was important._

"_I'm dreaming, something induced by the potion that backfired," his imposter murmured, grabbing onto the long black hair and shaking his head. Sirius glared, looking at his own body, jumping up and running to the connecting bathroom, looking at his reflection._

_He was…Remus? _

_Sirius touched "his" hair lightly, watching as the short strands fell right through smoothly. Lifting up his shirt he saw the bite scar, swallowing hard as he realized that not even a Polyjuice potion could copy that. Then, they had switched a body, which was the backfire that had occurred. _

"_This can't be happening," he whispered. Running out again he saw his own wand pointed right at him. Grey eyes looked fierce, fright hidden well behind them._

"_Who are you? Why are you in my body?" He demanded. Sirius stuck his mew arms in the air as a defense shaking his head in surrender. _

"_Remus, that potion, that was the backfire, our bodies were switched!" He said squeakily, hoping that his rational friend would listen. He slowly watched as the wand was lowered and Remus turned to face him fully (which looked rather threatening considering his body was taller)._

"_Prove it," Remus said quietly and hesitantly._

"_We are in sixth year, the Marauders, and…I'm Padfoot, a big black dog that helps you during the full moon," he reasoned, hoping Remus understood. A silent battle was going on inside Remus, but he somehow knew that Sirius (or what he thought was Sirius) was telling the truth._

"_Then, what are we going to do?"_

"_Erm, we can't tell James," Sirius laughed nervously._

**---TBC---**

**Heh, there we go, we end on what happened after Sirius woke up.**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


	3. Interlude: How is everyone doing?

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Humor/Romance  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, some angst in about two chapters, and swearing.  
**Summary: **A freakish potions accident has caused Remus and Sirius to switch bodies, but their minds still intact. What can they learn by being the other? Will they finally fall in love?

**Notes: **Okay everyone, remember when I had my really bad Sims craze and didn't update anything in like forever? Well, yeah, only now I am obsessed with something far worse. That's right ladies and gentlemen; I am obsessed with Kingdom Hearts, the best thing to ever be! I love Sora and Riku so much I think I might burst with happiness. Also, along with the video games being wicked fun (especially the second with more Cloud and SQUEE! ROXAS!) The fan fictions are equally good, along with the art and videos on YouTube, it makes me go nuts! (8L) anyway, hope you like the update choice.

Gaspeth! On with the story!

---Chapter Three---

Remus had never had any trouble with girls and the ones that did bother him usually only kept within the lines of 'help me with my homework'. He had been happy, content, perfectly fine with how everything had been going on. Oh, besides the loving of your homophobic best friend, but that was the only glitch.

Really.

It was…

Okay and the werewolf thing. He would not deny that but this was definitely a first. His hands rose in a sort of 'DON'T HURT ME LOOKS CAN BE DECIEVING' sort of way. Well, if worse comes to worse than at least he knew what his escape route would be…where was that bastard in his body anyway?

---------------

Sirius, it turned out, was in a similar situation, only with Slytherin…boys. He really hated gay people, the only exception being his close friend Remus but this was not helping. While he felt really guilty, Sirius had slipped off when a group of girls had walked up to them, hoping that Remus could handle the situation. Well, those plans of 'RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!' seemed to backfire when he ran into Lucius Malfoy on his way to the Kitchens for a quick swipe.

But could you really call it that when the house elves willingly gave you the food?

Not the point! Back to the situation at hand!

Now what did Remus say to do again…?

Ah yes! Clearing his throat Sirius grinned wickedly at them, the sight being rather new to the Slytherins.

"Don't make me hurt you _Malfoy_," he spat, folding his arms in front of him.

"So kitten can hiss," Lucius grinned. "I have been waiting so long to hear that beautiful voice." Sirius blanched, rubbing his forehead. Okay, he _really _hated gay people. It was so gross it almost made him gag just the thought of two guys…urg. Now two girls on the other hand, Sirius was all for. More power to the sexy lesbians!

(**A/N: **Back in Kansas where I used to live everyone hated the fact of gay people but the guys just LOVED it when it came to seeing two girls make out. Walking hypocrites I tell you. Sorry if I had offended anyone)

Sirius snapped out of his daze when he realized a hand had grabbed his upper arm, strait into a waiting chest. Why the fuck was Remus so short! Blushing furiously, he pushed back with all his might.

Right, now he TRULY remembered what Remus said about these situations; beat the crap out of them! Rolling up his sleeves, he crouched down, suddenly leaping onto the unsuspecting seventh year; biting, punching, kicking, and pulling all that he could. To all the onlookers it looked like Lupin had finally gone bonkers.

"You wanna play rough boy!" Lucius screeched, slamming Sirius into the wall. However, he continued to stick on, sort of like the annoying glue on your fingers. His friends were staring in complete shock, not really knowing what to make of things. Lupin, the quiet boy they had been lusting after had suddenly looked rabid and kicking and clawing at everything he reached.

Sirius clamped down onto Lucius' forehead, hissing and snarling like a rabid werewolf…which in other situations might have been true.

Briefly he wondered how Remus was doing before continuing his ravage attacks.

----------------------

_Oh my god! Oh my god! Breasts! They all have breasts I don't know what to do! Oh my god! One is pressing to me! What do I do?_

To say Remus was panicking was an understatement. He was hyperventilating for god sakes and no one seemed to notice! The girls around him, in Remus' opinion, were getting even hornier. Oh god he was going to be stuck in some sick orgy! Suddenly a thought struck him; what would Sirius do? He tried to think of something, anything, but his mind was going into over drive. He thought long ago that it had abandoned him just like Sirius with a note saying 'go get 'em kid! I'm rooting for you!' Like hell you stupid Sirius brain!

"What did Sirius say to do in a situation like this?" He muttered. He couldn't remember and he wasn't going to panic WITH THE GIRLS PRESSING FURTHER ON HIM. Geez, how far can one be scrunched into a wall before sinking through?

Remus had never been bombarded by women so suddenly in his entire life! He had tried, and let it be known valiantly that he failed, to get the women off of him with the 'yes you are very hot, now let me go please'. But, that just didn't seem to work…were those two in the back making out? All power to gay people but man oh man were they going at it. Remus had a horrible mental image of him being forced into the middle of this orgy. So, when things are so far gone from your grasp what else can you do?

"OH MY GOD DON'T HURT ME! I SWEAR TO YOU I WANT TO REMAIN SINGLE THANK YOU! AaaaAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAaAAaAAaAAAaHhHHhHHhHHHhHHHhhH!" The horrified screams could be heard throughout the entire castle….

…..and in Dumbledore's office…

"I swear to god!" He yelled, messing up another doodle of a heart with the names Albus and Minerva in them. "Whoever is yelling stop it now! Don't make me come out there!"

The screams continued.

"It's okay Mr. Punch-Paws, everything will be okay," the old headmaster whispered as he covered his stuffed monkey's ears. "I'm scared to."

….back at the common room….

Ears perked up.

Eyes glistened in the fire.

Hands twitched.

That's right my fellow chums, James had heard Sirius' (somewhat girly) cries of terror from the halls.

Legs set in motion he stamped a badge (Remus' prefect badge in fact) to the front of his robes, his chest puffing out to defy the world.

"DON'T WORRY SIRI! YOUR BUDDY JAMES IS ON THE HUNT!" He screamed so loud every head whipped to face him, looks of utter terror in their eyes. Many held each other in fright muttering things like 'if I die, remember me' and 'hold me'.

James' legs seemed to be motors as he screamed his way out of the common room.

…and back to Sirius, where the madness (nearly) began….

He was far to busy to hear James' cries of justice as he bit, bit, and bit some more of Lucius' hair. Oh, and pulling it too. By now, the shock had worn off and the Slytherins were trying to pull him off of Lucius' head, the ever present death threats sent by the main seventh year. Sirius was not having any of it, as his legs were kicking anyone who came near.

"Bon hif ba mop bow!" Sirius snarled, jaws still locked on Lucius' forehead. (**A/N: He is saying: **Don't like me much now).

If anything, he was doing Remus a favor by acting this crazy.

Smiling in delight he continued his assault.

**---TBC---**

**Sorry this was so random. But this takes place after they left the classroom and were testing how they would react to the outside world in the new bodies. As you can see…they don't handle it very well. The cure is being discovered by Lily in this story! Yay for Lily! The Loop is no longer Lily-less! So anyway, at the end of the second chapter in the italics was Sirius waking up, I think I confused a few of you. But basically it was going back to when Sirius woke up because it showed how Remus was waking up in the beginning. Thought it fair. Anyway, this was a little special that showed you how every…er, can I really say coped? Anyway, review!**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


	4. Loop is no longer Lilyless

**Author: **WhiteWolfCub  
**Genre: **Humor/Romance  
**Category: **Harry Potter  
**Warnings: **Slash between Sirius/Remus, some angst in about two chapters, and swearing.  
**Summary: **A freakish potions accident has caused Remus and Sirius to switch bodies, but their minds still intact. What can they learn by being the other? Will they finally fall in love?

**Notes: **Okay, after looking at the last chapter I was like, okay, now I really have to get started on the next chapter. So, this one will be a long one (hopefully) and I hope it does not disappoint. So, I don't really have much to say except that the epilogue will be posted shortly after this chapter for HnE-SnE-SnE. There are some things that are going to be explained in that chapter and the rest should all fit into place. I will say this though, John is dead, and so is the fake. Okay, there are no fabulous faking of death he is dead. Okay, well, after that, on with this chapter then ne?

Gaspeth! On with the story!

---Chapter Four---

------

------

"I don't like this."

"You don't like anything Sirius."

"Well, _Remus_, you wouldn't like this when you're being poked and prodded with medical things!"

"Wimp."

Sirius glared at Remus for a good minute before the dabbing of the alcohol stuff took to his bruise again. Well, he thought snidely, at least it was Remus' body and not his own. This would probably explain why Remus was taking such good care of this bruise after all. It wasn't his fault Malfoy suddenly retaliated and threw him off his head and into a wall. Sirius didn't even know Remus' body was so small it could easily be thrown off. If it were him, well…

Sirius indulged himself in his fantasies as Remus finished, huffing in irritation. He put his emergency supplies back in his trunk as he sat back down on the floor, looking deep in thought. He had yet to tell Sirius of his own adventures in the older teen's body. Shuddering, he hugged Sirius' body tighter around himself, still feeling all of those girls pressing around him. Too bad he ruined Sirius' image. Snickering silently he let his attention go back to Sirius, whom had a goofy grin on his face.

Did he want to know?

….

Of course.

"What are you thinking about?" Remus asked casually, making sure to mentally prepare himself for the answer. Sirius glanced at him, the smile still on his face.

"How I tackled Malfoy and chewed off his hair, I made you look crazy," he giggled, laying down on the bed in a lazy fashion. "You should have seen his face."

Remus twitched.

No mental preparation prepared him for this answer...

Sighing, he decided that he was going to be calm about this.

----------------------

James looked up, every head turning to the direction of the stairs, where pained yells and cries of mercy were echoing from. Shaking his head, he looked at Lily, who was eyeing the staircase with barely veiled fascination. Cocking his head to the side he cleared his throat, looking confused.

She gazed at him passively before grinning. "I knew it," she spoke softly before walking out of the common room. James looked back at the dorm staircase briefly before shrugging and going back to his blueprint.

----------------------

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the swiping hand feebly try to hit him again. He was for once thankful about Remus' small body being able to fit under such a tight space between the floor and bed.

"Sirius! Get out here I will kill you!"

"NEVER!" He yelled back, biting his lip and squeaking as the flailing arm made another swipe at him. Stifling a yelp at another close call he shimmied farther away, earning an irritated growl from the other teen. Sirius was, in all retrospect, stuck in a situation he _really _didn't want to be in. Remus, in his body, could maim, murder, or worse yet…castrate. Sirius shuddered so bad at the mental image the bed above him shook. However, a clamp on the arm sent his wayward thoughts out the window and into the garden, his shout sounding more like a squeal then anything.

"OH MY GOD, DON'T HURT ME!" He screeched, his mind working over possible things to say to Remus in order to ask for forgiveness. Than again, a snide part in the back of his brain sneered, he could always _beg _his way out. Sirius snorted inwardly, not noticing that he had been dragged completely out from under the bed.

Looking up he froze, eep'd, and tried to scurry back under the bed. Only one problem Sirius, that inner voice spoke again, your body is much stronger than Remus', you couldn't pull away even if you wanted too.

Damn, he hated his inner critic.

"Tell me everything you know," Remus whispered dangerously. Sirius didn't think he could be that scary looking, what with the eyes flashing 'DEATH' and all. Swallowing the newly formed lump in his throat, he began to say the best things he could.

"I know Potions," he murmured meekly. A fist slammed by his head, and he clammed up.

"Tell me about what you did to Malfoy," Remus hissed. Death, _death, _DEATH! Sirius nearly cried.

"He taunted me about being a homo, I tackled him, chewed on his hair, then he threw me off," Sirius explained, making a face at the first part. "I mean, he made me mad! He called me a fag!" He ignored the hurt that went through Remus' expression.

A few more moments of silence ensued before Remus nodded, getting up and walking into the connecting bathroom. Sirius sat up, wondering what he had done wrong, until the door to dorms flew open, and James came staggering in, looking flustered. All thoughts of Remus fled his mind.

"Oh hey Remus," James sighed, flopping onto Peter's bed. Sirius didn't dare say anything though; the other boy wouldn't hear him anyway.

"Hey…what happened to you?" He asked, being as Remus-like as he could. James opened one eye and studied him.

"I got mauled by every occupant in the Gryffindor common room," he stated, burrowing his head in the pillows. However, a few seconds later and he raised his head, shivered and sniffed, before groaning and getting off the bed and going to his own. Sirius mentally thanked whatever god was up there that he and Remus had the farthest beds. Wouldn't want James or Peter on his.

"Why would that be?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Because," James sighed dramatically, rolling onto his stomach. "Everyone heard your screams of terror down there, got intrigued, and mauled me for answers."

"Gryffindors did this?" Sirius asked imprudently. James nodded.

"It was horrible, so many feet…so many," the hazel eyed teen said dramatically, burrowing himself in the covers of his bed. "No more, no more…I'm going to bed, they can't get me in my nightmares."

"Dreams buddy," Sirius corrected.

"I don't care!" James wailed, before his head disappeared under the covers of his cocoon. Sirius stared at him for a moment before Remus stepped out of the bathroom, a smile on his face. Sirius made note that it didn't reach his eyes.

"I'll be back in an hour or two," he sighed, leaving the dorms in a hurry.

Sirius only stared.

-------------------

Lily's eyes scanned over her potions textbook, her gaze swimming with barely veiled victory. She was very happy.

…

…

…

Okay she was happier than normal, but only because she had just then discovered how to hold half of the Marauders in the palm of her hands.

"Ahhehahahahahahaaahaa," she cackled, throwing her head back in an attempt to make it more evil sounding. Honestly, this was perfect.

"I know exactly how to get Remus and Sirius back to normal," she whispered. "But they're gonna have to do something for me first. Hark and rejoice the loop is no longer Lily-less!"

With that, she left the classroom, flicking out her 'lumos' spell as she went along.

**---TBC---**

**Short again I know, sorry. Anyway, next chapter we find out what Lily wants from Remus and Sirius, Remus gets in a bit of trouble when he wakes up the next morning, and Sirius ventures to find that gay people aren't that bad…hot even. **

**Important Notice: Completely Crazy has been rewritten with an even BETTER plotline and story. True to be one of my best ever. Watch for it tomorrow because then I will have read through it and other crap like that. Also, the chapter is much longer. **

**See you there!**

_-WhiteWolfCub_

**---TBC---**


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